Bah Humbug!
Hello Everyone. I Updated my sisters site again today. She still hasn't written a journal entry so I have taken it upon myself to journal for her.
Isn't that nice of me? (January 2003 update: Since this journal entry, my sis has actually written entries of her own. To see the entry that I refer to here you have to scroll to the bottom of my sisters blog page.)Hey, I should start a journaling business for people who don't have time to journal.
You give me the brief details and I will write up a colourful and interesting journal entry for the low price of $29.99.
If you buy 3 entries now you will also receive this set of 7 Ginsu knives, which you can thrust into yourself for being such a lameass that you can't even write your own journal.
I feel a change coming.
I think life is going to get very good for me soon. A lot of really good things are just happening for no apparent reason. I found a giant perfect piece of plexiglass in a bush today.
It was exactly what I needed..... Just trust me it was.
I was going to buy one and then there is was in the bush outside, the exact right size. Like a gift from the Plexiglass God. Also we may be getting a digital video camera!!

I have been thinking of a new idea recently. I have a friend Ailene whom I ride with occasionally. I want to start an all girl riding team with three members, kind of like the Three Stooges. Only on bikes. And Female. And in colour.
So far we are the only two.
We will be holding auditions for the third spot soon. We will be sponsored by RM....probably ..... and maybe Race Face too. Anyway, with our camera we will be able to make cool bike videos with Disturbed playing in the background.
Also my jeans ripped. Which is a good thing because now I get to buy a new pair.
Also, MIL responded to my e-mail!!! (things my girlfriend and I argue about)
He wrote something about how much he loves the forum topic "Quantum Physics, black holes yada yada" and how he loves my poetry and how he is going to dedicate a whole chapter of his next book to me and give me a grant of some 6 figure ammount to fund my blog writing.
But he didn't write in my forum. Sigh.
So all these great things are happening all at once. I don't know why, I guess the Karma wheel turned.
Anyway, I am going to see the physics guy this week and UCFV. I wonder if he looks as geeky as he sounds on the phone? Of course he does! He is the head of the physics department.
Anyway, gotta run. Later

I have finally created archives! I decided that this page was starting to get a bit longish so I moved everything over to the past life section.
Today I am going to register for next semester at UCFV. I am going to take some physics courses. I have found that my lack of knowledge in calculus and my inability to fully comprehend the superstring theory is becoming a serious hindrance in my journey to discover the theory of everything.

You know, I think some physicists made up the String Theory as a joke to make everyone feel really stupid. They were probably all stoned. Anyway, I'm off to the school. Later

Sorry for not updating in a few days. My back has been getting worse again and I am a bit worried about it. I have my CT scan today.
I found a very cool site this morning. It's about Zen, meditation, living in Zero, that sort of thing and you know what? It actually works. It relaxes you and makes you think.
There are 2 episodes to go through. do-not-zzz and living in zero. For the second one click on zero at the bottom.
I went to a funeral yesterday. I saw a lot of people from my church going days (stopped going 6 years ago). I am so glad that I am not in that group of people anymore.
They are like the shallow boring popular crowd in school, you never quite feel that you fit in and you somehow always feel that they are looking down their noses at you.
I thought a lot about dead people during the service. When people talk about going to heaven when they die they have their own preconceived ideas about what heaven will be like.
Usually it is a beautiful place, unspoiled by pollution, riches for all, nobody wants for anything, angel choirs with harps yadda yadda yadda.
This is a very lovely idea but there is one very serious flaw which shatters this idyllic image. Our perception of the universe is totally dependant on our physical bodies.
Now I am not saying here that we will not exist after death, I don't know that. What I am saying is that, our ideas of heaven are based upon our own experiences of life tweaked into the most perfect scenario that we can imagine.
But our experiences are gained through our senses. Our eyes pick up coloured light and translate this into a 3d image in our brain. Well our eyes and brains will be rotting in the earth. We are dependent on the mechanics of our body to perceive images the way we do.
Same with sound. And touch. It's all the mechanics baby. So whatever comes after death, we wont see things, hear things or experience things the way we are used to.
Also memory. Our memories will die with our brains. Same with our personalities. So if there is life after death it is like nothing we can possibly imagine.
Now personally I think there is. I think that all living things work on some kind of energy. With all the new information being discovered about the global consciousness (see September entries on coincidences and the oddities section for MIT experiments) I think that this energy is connected.
The thing is I think that life after death has more to do with quantum physics than with religion. If we find out the theory of everything we will know what happens after death.

Hello Everyone!
I don't have long to update today because I am getting my hair cut! Yay! i had the brilliant idea a year ago to start growing it out again. It looked hideous so I am getting my betty page do again today, can't wait.
I haven't heard a word from either Mark or Mil but I did receive another response from Gord. (Hello Gord, thanks for replying to my e-mail but it would be really great if you would just click on that little forum link and comment in there, thanks)
He said something about wanting to marry me and give me all the money he makes on his new books and use my forums as the only venue for his writing and how cool he thought I was......He DID!
Alright alright he didn't okay? But he said "Hello" and that's pretty close if you ask me. You have to read between the lines you know.
Anyway, I have thought of my next targets. William Shatner and Wil Wheaton. I want them to have a debate in my forum. Actually I want them to record a promo for my site together. They are going to sing a duet of "Mr. Tambourine Man".
I may have to get them both drunk first and that might be a tad tricky.
The other person is Anne Caroline Chauson. She is my hero. She is an amazing downhill racer who can kick the ass of almost every guy on the planet.
I saw her once at Whistler at the top of a run, waiting. There I was, faced suddenly with the perfect opportunity to tell here my deepest feelings.
Just Me, Derek and Anne alone, for about 5 full minutes while I tried to work up my nerve. My heart was pounding, I wanted to reach out and touch her, tell her that she inspires me to try harder and believe in myself, that she is the ultimate roll model for so many women, I open my mouth and the only thing I can think to say is "Are you going or what?"
Daaaggghhhh! She humbly and meekly replied "oh errm I am waiting for the cameraman to tell me to go". Dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Anyway, I want her to visit my site and bless my forum. Just believe me folks, she is the greatest.
The last person is Thomas Homer Dixon. Everything that comes out of this mans mouth is pure genius. His writing is both brilliant and frightening.
Speaking of brilliant, one more person, Stephen Hawking. Those two people probably give me the most hope for the human race. Most of the people you meet in your daily wanderings, make you shake your head and wonder how we monkeys came so far and how we will ever get out of the mess we are in. There are only a few people who keep me from becoming a total misanthropist, Thom and Stevie are two of them.

I just noticed that my list is leaning towards people on my heros list and away from people whom I can piss off with an insulting e-mail, as this brilliant scheme started out being.
Well the good news is William Shatner makes up for all the other people and Tao Te Cheese has graciously volunteered to be a recipient of an insulting e-mail.
When I come back, my thoughts on penny per page business model. Later.

Morning everyone!
I have a terribly important announcement to make.
I have been informed that I now have 3.5 readers and not a mere 2.5. Wow I don't know if the server can handle the traffic.
Also an update on my ploy to get people with popular sites to comment in my forum:
I have sent off e-mails to Mil and Gord and a second one to Mark Prince. Incase you don't know what the hell I am talking about, please read journal entries on November 17th and 18th for details on my brilliant scheme.
I think 2 is the limit.
If a person doesn't respond after 2 of my incredibly cutting and brilliantly scathing e-mails they must be either illiterate or dead.
If you have any suggestions of people that you think I should send an e-mail to why don't you mention your ideas in my forum.
Aside from all that I received a really nice compliment from my friend Dak today. He called me wonderfully silly. It's nice to know that people laugh at what I write.
I am going to look for places today to show my paintings. I have started painting again recently and I have to get off my ass and do something about it. I think I am a bit cowardly when it comes to trying to promote my artwork. I don't want to be. Now I have put it in writing so I have to do it.
Also, I will be putting new photos up soon.
Well that's enough for now. Later.

Just a quick update. I am making a blog site for my sister Cate.

Here it is [old link].

I took the priveledge of writing her first journal entry for her. Wasn't that nice of me? (January 2003 update: Since this journal entry, my sis has actually written entries of her own. To see the entry that I refer to here you have to scroll to the bottom of my sisters blog page.)
Regarding the whole "son getting crushed by a shopping cart" thing. That refers to an incident that happened this weekend at a ribbon cutting ceremony at her husbands store. A lady fell with her shopping cart onto my 3 year old nephew.
Anyway, go check it out. later.

Well, it seems like my little experiment is failing miserably. I haven't heard a single peep from Mark Prince. Not one comment in my forum and not one reply to my e-mail.
Never fear, I still think it's a good idea and I won't give up on it yet. I may be forced to write another, more insulting e-mail to Mark. Which is too bad because I read some of his personal site and he actually seems like a nice guy.
But if he doesn't respond, what else can I do? You see, my hands are tied. I may have to insult his dog or something. Which would be pretty easy actually.
You should see his dog.
This week I am going to write insulting e-mails to Mil, famous for "Things My Girlfriend And I Argue About" which I am sure you have all read, and Gord of "Acts of Gord". Mil should be pretty easy.
All I really have to say is that my site features women with hairy armpits plus he has replied to a few of my e-mails before. Those are two people who I would love to have comments from in my forum.
The sites are hilarious and well worth the time to read. Anyway, that's it for now. Later.

I just thought of a great idea! (btw Hi Mark Prince)As the numerous readers of my site (2.5 of them, the .5 is my dog)know, I have tried many times to encourage people to visit and comment in my forums. I have actually tried several devious schemes. Well, I have thought of another one. I had an epiphany while I was reading an article on coffeegeek.com.
The article was entitled, "Defining the God Shot" written by Mark Prince. It is about the perfect Espresso shot and the term "God Shot" which he claims to have coined. The site is pretty cool actually but the people who write articles are coffee snobs and the elitism displayed in their articles borders on humorous.
Please don't think I am being hypocritical here, I can definitely get snobby about things myself. I mean, I am an artist, of course I get snobby.
Anyway, back to my epiphany.
I thought of a great idea to lure more people to my site and 'inspire' them to comment in my forums. I am going to e-mail people with insulting e-mails (only people who are begging for an insulting e-mail) ending the e-mail with a statement like
"my site http://www.chargedmultimedia.com/exanimo/ is far superior to your site" thereby goading the e-mail recipient into visiting and commenting. Brilliant no?
Oh come on Mark Prince don't tell me it didn't work!
I have just completed Marks E-mail. I called him a "God Snob" in it. It was actually pretty funny, well for me, not for him that is. Oh, but after a few "God Shots" he will get over it. If any of you readers out there think this is a stupid idea why don't you comment on it in my forum? Okay, okay, so that was also just a ploy to get you to comment. Anyway, I gotta go. Watch out for comments from pissed off e-mail recipients coming soon to my forums. Later.

It's Haiku time again people.
Derek an I took the dog out for a walk this morning and noticed that our window was down on the truck and the door was open. Oh yes, that's when that sinking feeling hits when you realize that something is terribly terribly wrong. Well some punk ass kid broke into our truck, broke the window and stole our stereo and insurance papers. We know he is a punk ass kid because he only took part of the stereo but without the other parts it wont work. So he proved himself an amateur idiot. So the image of that just pisses me off even more. You know exactly what this kid looks like. Probably between 16 and 23 years old, backwards baseball cap, droopy jeans with his underwear showing, vacant stare, and the IQ of an eraser. I am sure you all understand how I am feeling at this moment, that sort of worked up frustrated feeling when you have this visual image of one of the most loathsome creatures that walks the face of the planet, "The Punk Ass Kid", and you can visualize at least a dozen scenarios that involve you and the kid, alone, for half an hour, with a baseball bat, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Except, keep imagining, and keep getting worked up and keep feeling the rising frustration. So you see, I really have no choice. It's either write the Haiku or develop stomach ulcers. so here I go:

Haiku for "The Punk Ass Kid"

Punk ass crap for brains
please visit again tonight
don't look behind you
because you better believe I am going to be there to shove your punk ass baseball cap your 6 gold chains and your entire eminem cd collection which I KNOW you own right up your ass and jam it all up there nice and tight by giving you a wedgie with your pathetic Walmart hanging out underwear you stupid head punk ass crap for brains why would you steal a stereo without all its parts are you a complete and utter moron and why wouldn't you take our Canadian tire money...
I mean its worth a lot you know?
maybe 5 bucks or something?
what's wrong with our Canadian tire money?
It's probably worth more than the stereo.
Okay I feel better now. Phew glad i got that off my chest.
People have got to learn not to mess with me. I'm serious. Later.

Sorry about not updating my journal for the past 8 days. I have been too busy watching Homestar Runner toons.
What do you mean that's not a good excuse?
It's a damn good excuse! They have over 75 Easter eggs! Not to mention it's "made from the best stuff".
What do you mean there are more important things like the election?
What election?
Helen you are talking to yourself.
I know, can you believe it?
You're still talking to yourself.
I know, can you believe it?
Actually this week has been a pretty shitty week in some aspects. I needed the comedic relief. Yellow Pages screwed up our ads. I had to argue with them on the phone. I still have more arguing to do. It rained a lot. I hate arguing with people.
The trails are yucky. I had some kind of bad stomach thing going on which prevented me from sleeping.
But it's Friday!!! you know what Friday means? It means drinking Guiness and Strongbow at the Yorkshire Rose!
Scary thing in the News lately. US military demanding confidential information, including contact information (address and telephone numbers) of students in high schools. Obviously the teachers are alarmed. It doesn't explain why they are demanding this information but it makes you wonder with war looming on the horizon.
I really hate war. Not that I have ever known war. I am fortunate enough to have lived 31 years without experiencing war first hand. I often think about whether war is necessary or not. There are times in history where it seems that war has been necessary. When a tyrannical dictator comes into power sometimes war is necessary to defend free countries and free people. But I think those instances are rare. Usually removing one corrupt leader or form of government leaves a void that will be filled by another different, possibly worse leader or form of government. Long term occupation in a country certainly doesn't seem the right answer to lead a people to freedom. It has rarely worked. I strongly believe in education and support. The problem with this is that I can't see how this can be accomplished quickly and people are impatient. Waiting for knowledge and enlightenment to spread through an entire population, waiting for people to break free from shackles of religion, waiting for women to find their voice and stand up, seems so passive. But this is how people have risen from oppression before. In the 1400's the printing press was invented, the dark ages ended, Renaissance began. Martin Luther posted a list of grievances against the catholic church. People became educated. It took time but changes happened.
Now the idea of war is terrifying because we have nuclear weapons and biological weapons. The leaders of the world have to be so much more careful.
I went to the cemetery with my dog on Monday as I always do. There were a lot of white crosses. I never knew they were there. Well enough ranting for me. Phew I am tired! I need a nap. Later.