Wow, has it really been that long since an update?
It has been a busy month.
I had a lot of laundry.
Actually, big news, Derek and I are finally tieing the knot!
After 7 years of waiting, my parents collapsed with shock. Literally.
On the phone, my dad said “’ang on, I’ve got t’ pick meself up off the floor. Mum! ye daughter’s getting married! ‘ang on, I’ve got te pick ye mum up off the floor.”

I planned the wedding one day last week then informed Derek he was marrying me via instant message. At the time I thought, how cool and nerdy of me! But then Brittany ruined it by divorcing K-fed via instant message and now it just seems trashy.
Darn Brittany, she always ruins things.
Just remember everyone , I did it first!
I’ve been shopping a bit lately. In my books, an impending wedding warrants a little self indulgence.
Okay a lot.
I’m not a stereotypical heel donning, french manicured, coiffured kind of girl but even so, I could do with an image update.
Embarking upon this quixotic quest, my first task was take inventory of my make-up bag; I found it sadly wanting. This called for a quick trip to the local drug store make-up aisles, an LSD trip of powders, lotions and myriad palettes containing every colour visible to the human eye (and some that aren’t).
I found a tube of lipgloss which promised lips like Scarlett Johansson.
It’s actual marketing claim guaranteed lips exactly 41% plumper.
Scientifically proven.
Let's see, my lips being about 1cm wide each would mean I have to layer on more than 4mm of gloss in order for the claim to be true.
If you wanted 41% bigger lips you could always get someone to punch you in the mouth.
Out of a twisted sense of curiosity, I asked the sales girl how this could possibly work.
She answered. “My minimifidian friend, it certainly works because somebody explained it to me once.”
“What did they say?” I ask.
“I can’t remember but they explained it so it works.”....
Well then, there you have it.
Let me ask you, if they really could sell you a little bottle and paintbrush of a substance that guaranteed a 41% increase in size, do you really think they would be selling it for lips?
So anyway, I bought it. Shut up! It’s a nice shade of pink!
p.s. I'll be posting wedding pics in a couple of weeks.
p.p.s. We have had 2 weeks of torrential rain and flooding in the lower mainland and yesterday they warned everyone to only use bottled water in the biggest water advisory in the history of BC. The tap water literally looks like mud.
Of course, I drank an entire glassful and only upon filling my second glass did I notice the muddiness and miasma of noxious fumes, scream, drop the glass and claw in futility at my throat.
That was yesterday.
Nothing bad has happened yet, but this morning when I woke up, I forgot and groggily made my way to the kitchen to down yet another glassful (repeat: screaming, dropping, clawing). I'm not talking juice glass, I'm talking Defcon pint glassful.
If I don't die, all can assume the water is safe.
Glad to be of service.