Sorry for not updating in a few days. My back has been getting worse again and I am a bit worried about it. I have my CT scan today.
I found a very cool site this morning. It's about Zen, meditation, living in Zero, that sort of thing and you know what? It actually works. It relaxes you and makes you think.
There are 2 episodes to go through. do-not-zzz and living in zero. For the second one click on zero at the bottom.
I went to a funeral yesterday. I saw a lot of people from my church going days (stopped going 6 years ago). I am so glad that I am not in that group of people anymore.
They are like the shallow boring popular crowd in school, you never quite feel that you fit in and you somehow always feel that they are looking down their noses at you.
I thought a lot about dead people during the service. When people talk about going to heaven when they die they have their own preconceived ideas about what heaven will be like.
Usually it is a beautiful place, unspoiled by pollution, riches for all, nobody wants for anything, angel choirs with harps yadda yadda yadda.
This is a very lovely idea but there is one very serious flaw which shatters this idyllic image. Our perception of the universe is totally dependant on our physical bodies.
Now I am not saying here that we will not exist after death, I don't know that. What I am saying is that, our ideas of heaven are based upon our own experiences of life tweaked into the most perfect scenario that we can imagine.
But our experiences are gained through our senses. Our eyes pick up coloured light and translate this into a 3d image in our brain. Well our eyes and brains will be rotting in the earth. We are dependent on the mechanics of our body to perceive images the way we do.
Same with sound. And touch. It's all the mechanics baby. So whatever comes after death, we wont see things, hear things or experience things the way we are used to.
Also memory. Our memories will die with our brains. Same with our personalities. So if there is life after death it is like nothing we can possibly imagine.
Now personally I think there is. I think that all living things work on some kind of energy. With all the new information being discovered about the global consciousness (see September entries on coincidences and the oddities section for MIT experiments) I think that this energy is connected.
The thing is I think that life after death has more to do with quantum physics than with religion. If we find out the theory of everything we will know what happens after death.

Hello Everyone!
I don't have long to update today because I am getting my hair cut! Yay! i had the brilliant idea a year ago to start growing it out again. It looked hideous so I am getting my betty page do again today, can't wait.
I haven't heard a word from either Mark or Mil but I did receive another response from Gord. (Hello Gord, thanks for replying to my e-mail but it would be really great if you would just click on that little forum link and comment in there, thanks)
He said something about wanting to marry me and give me all the money he makes on his new books and use my forums as the only venue for his writing and how cool he thought I was......He DID!
Alright alright he didn't okay? But he said "Hello" and that's pretty close if you ask me. You have to read between the lines you know.
Anyway, I have thought of my next targets. William Shatner and Wil Wheaton. I want them to have a debate in my forum. Actually I want them to record a promo for my site together. They are going to sing a duet of "Mr. Tambourine Man".
I may have to get them both drunk first and that might be a tad tricky.
The other person is Anne Caroline Chauson. She is my hero. She is an amazing downhill racer who can kick the ass of almost every guy on the planet.
I saw her once at Whistler at the top of a run, waiting. There I was, faced suddenly with the perfect opportunity to tell here my deepest feelings.
Just Me, Derek and Anne alone, for about 5 full minutes while I tried to work up my nerve. My heart was pounding, I wanted to reach out and touch her, tell her that she inspires me to try harder and believe in myself, that she is the ultimate roll model for so many women, I open my mouth and the only thing I can think to say is "Are you going or what?"
Daaaggghhhh! She humbly and meekly replied "oh errm I am waiting for the cameraman to tell me to go". Dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Anyway, I want her to visit my site and bless my forum. Just believe me folks, she is the greatest.
The last person is Thomas Homer Dixon. Everything that comes out of this mans mouth is pure genius. His writing is both brilliant and frightening.
Speaking of brilliant, one more person, Stephen Hawking. Those two people probably give me the most hope for the human race. Most of the people you meet in your daily wanderings, make you shake your head and wonder how we monkeys came so far and how we will ever get out of the mess we are in. There are only a few people who keep me from becoming a total misanthropist, Thom and Stevie are two of them.

I just noticed that my list is leaning towards people on my heros list and away from people whom I can piss off with an insulting e-mail, as this brilliant scheme started out being.
Well the good news is William Shatner makes up for all the other people and Tao Te Cheese has graciously volunteered to be a recipient of an insulting e-mail.
When I come back, my thoughts on penny per page business model. Later.

Morning everyone!
I have a terribly important announcement to make.
I have been informed that I now have 3.5 readers and not a mere 2.5. Wow I don't know if the server can handle the traffic.
Also an update on my ploy to get people with popular sites to comment in my forum:
I have sent off e-mails to Mil and Gord and a second one to Mark Prince. Incase you don't know what the hell I am talking about, please read journal entries on November 17th and 18th for details on my brilliant scheme.
I think 2 is the limit.
If a person doesn't respond after 2 of my incredibly cutting and brilliantly scathing e-mails they must be either illiterate or dead.
If you have any suggestions of people that you think I should send an e-mail to why don't you mention your ideas in my forum.
Aside from all that I received a really nice compliment from my friend Dak today. He called me wonderfully silly. It's nice to know that people laugh at what I write.
I am going to look for places today to show my paintings. I have started painting again recently and I have to get off my ass and do something about it. I think I am a bit cowardly when it comes to trying to promote my artwork. I don't want to be. Now I have put it in writing so I have to do it.
Also, I will be putting new photos up soon.
Well that's enough for now. Later.

Just a quick update. I am making a blog site for my sister Cate.

Here it is [old link].

I took the priveledge of writing her first journal entry for her. Wasn't that nice of me? (January 2003 update: Since this journal entry, my sis has actually written entries of her own. To see the entry that I refer to here you have to scroll to the bottom of my sisters blog page.)
Regarding the whole "son getting crushed by a shopping cart" thing. That refers to an incident that happened this weekend at a ribbon cutting ceremony at her husbands store. A lady fell with her shopping cart onto my 3 year old nephew.
Anyway, go check it out. later.

Well, it seems like my little experiment is failing miserably. I haven't heard a single peep from Mark Prince. Not one comment in my forum and not one reply to my e-mail.
Never fear, I still think it's a good idea and I won't give up on it yet. I may be forced to write another, more insulting e-mail to Mark. Which is too bad because I read some of his personal site and he actually seems like a nice guy.
But if he doesn't respond, what else can I do? You see, my hands are tied. I may have to insult his dog or something. Which would be pretty easy actually.
You should see his dog.
This week I am going to write insulting e-mails to Mil, famous for "Things My Girlfriend And I Argue About" which I am sure you have all read, and Gord of "Acts of Gord". Mil should be pretty easy.
All I really have to say is that my site features women with hairy armpits plus he has replied to a few of my e-mails before. Those are two people who I would love to have comments from in my forum.
The sites are hilarious and well worth the time to read. Anyway, that's it for now. Later.

I just thought of a great idea! (btw Hi Mark Prince)As the numerous readers of my site (2.5 of them, the .5 is my dog)know, I have tried many times to encourage people to visit and comment in my forums. I have actually tried several devious schemes. Well, I have thought of another one. I had an epiphany while I was reading an article on coffeegeek.com.
The article was entitled, "Defining the God Shot" written by Mark Prince. It is about the perfect Espresso shot and the term "God Shot" which he claims to have coined. The site is pretty cool actually but the people who write articles are coffee snobs and the elitism displayed in their articles borders on humorous.
Please don't think I am being hypocritical here, I can definitely get snobby about things myself. I mean, I am an artist, of course I get snobby.
Anyway, back to my epiphany.
I thought of a great idea to lure more people to my site and 'inspire' them to comment in my forums. I am going to e-mail people with insulting e-mails (only people who are begging for an insulting e-mail) ending the e-mail with a statement like
"my site http://www.chargedmultimedia.com/exanimo/ is far superior to your site" thereby goading the e-mail recipient into visiting and commenting. Brilliant no?
Oh come on Mark Prince don't tell me it didn't work!
I have just completed Marks E-mail. I called him a "God Snob" in it. It was actually pretty funny, well for me, not for him that is. Oh, but after a few "God Shots" he will get over it. If any of you readers out there think this is a stupid idea why don't you comment on it in my forum? Okay, okay, so that was also just a ploy to get you to comment. Anyway, I gotta go. Watch out for comments from pissed off e-mail recipients coming soon to my forums. Later.

It's Haiku time again people.
Derek an I took the dog out for a walk this morning and noticed that our window was down on the truck and the door was open. Oh yes, that's when that sinking feeling hits when you realize that something is terribly terribly wrong. Well some punk ass kid broke into our truck, broke the window and stole our stereo and insurance papers. We know he is a punk ass kid because he only took part of the stereo but without the other parts it wont work. So he proved himself an amateur idiot. So the image of that just pisses me off even more. You know exactly what this kid looks like. Probably between 16 and 23 years old, backwards baseball cap, droopy jeans with his underwear showing, vacant stare, and the IQ of an eraser. I am sure you all understand how I am feeling at this moment, that sort of worked up frustrated feeling when you have this visual image of one of the most loathsome creatures that walks the face of the planet, "The Punk Ass Kid", and you can visualize at least a dozen scenarios that involve you and the kid, alone, for half an hour, with a baseball bat, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Except, keep imagining, and keep getting worked up and keep feeling the rising frustration. So you see, I really have no choice. It's either write the Haiku or develop stomach ulcers. so here I go:

Haiku for "The Punk Ass Kid"

Punk ass crap for brains
please visit again tonight
don't look behind you
because you better believe I am going to be there to shove your punk ass baseball cap your 6 gold chains and your entire eminem cd collection which I KNOW you own right up your ass and jam it all up there nice and tight by giving you a wedgie with your pathetic Walmart hanging out underwear you stupid head punk ass crap for brains why would you steal a stereo without all its parts are you a complete and utter moron and why wouldn't you take our Canadian tire money...
I mean its worth a lot you know?
maybe 5 bucks or something?
what's wrong with our Canadian tire money?
It's probably worth more than the stereo.
Okay I feel better now. Phew glad i got that off my chest.
People have got to learn not to mess with me. I'm serious. Later.

Sorry about not updating my journal for the past 8 days. I have been too busy watching Homestar Runner toons.
What do you mean that's not a good excuse?
It's a damn good excuse! They have over 75 Easter eggs! Not to mention it's "made from the best stuff".
What do you mean there are more important things like the election?
What election?
Helen you are talking to yourself.
I know, can you believe it?
You're still talking to yourself.
I know, can you believe it?
Actually this week has been a pretty shitty week in some aspects. I needed the comedic relief. Yellow Pages screwed up our ads. I had to argue with them on the phone. I still have more arguing to do. It rained a lot. I hate arguing with people.
The trails are yucky. I had some kind of bad stomach thing going on which prevented me from sleeping.
But it's Friday!!! you know what Friday means? It means drinking Guiness and Strongbow at the Yorkshire Rose!
Scary thing in the News lately. US military demanding confidential information, including contact information (address and telephone numbers) of students in high schools. Obviously the teachers are alarmed. It doesn't explain why they are demanding this information but it makes you wonder with war looming on the horizon.
I really hate war. Not that I have ever known war. I am fortunate enough to have lived 31 years without experiencing war first hand. I often think about whether war is necessary or not. There are times in history where it seems that war has been necessary. When a tyrannical dictator comes into power sometimes war is necessary to defend free countries and free people. But I think those instances are rare. Usually removing one corrupt leader or form of government leaves a void that will be filled by another different, possibly worse leader or form of government. Long term occupation in a country certainly doesn't seem the right answer to lead a people to freedom. It has rarely worked. I strongly believe in education and support. The problem with this is that I can't see how this can be accomplished quickly and people are impatient. Waiting for knowledge and enlightenment to spread through an entire population, waiting for people to break free from shackles of religion, waiting for women to find their voice and stand up, seems so passive. But this is how people have risen from oppression before. In the 1400's the printing press was invented, the dark ages ended, Renaissance began. Martin Luther posted a list of grievances against the catholic church. People became educated. It took time but changes happened.
Now the idea of war is terrifying because we have nuclear weapons and biological weapons. The leaders of the world have to be so much more careful.
I went to the cemetery with my dog on Monday as I always do. There were a lot of white crosses. I never knew they were there. Well enough ranting for me. Phew I am tired! I need a nap. Later.

I have been having some weird dreams lately. Last night I had a dream that there was this huge conspiracy where all the truck drivers in the world were clones with red hair. They were pretty hairy all over actually. Blond curly hair. Especially on their hands. They had this creepy vacuous stare.
Also, something was controlling our brains. You know that feeling you get when you meet someone and you know you have met them before but you can't remember when? In the dream this was caused by some kind of memory eraser. This was part of the conspiracy. It was really strange. Trust me. Dreams are never the same when you tell them to someone.
The night before I had a dream that there was a menacing robot with a red glowing eye coming after me. No, not the terminator, it looked more like a dalek. It was coming closer and closer until I woke up in fright......and IT WAS STILL THERE!
It was in my bedroom and I was wide awake. I woke Derek up yelling, Oh my God what is that thing! Get it away from me! It was so wierd, I was totally awake and I could still see it as clear as day, for about a whole minute before it disappeared. It scared the crap out of me because usually your dreams stop when you wake up.
Anyway, back to real life. I haven't written in a while because I have had a terrible cold. Just getting over it.
Several significant things have happened this week though. I started painting again after a whole year without. I finished a painting that has been sitting for a year. Funny thing is, I didn't know how to finish it and I began to hate it. I think I didn't want to begin another painting until it was done, now it is done and I love it! I am getting so many ideas now.
Another significant thing that happened is that I went on my first trail ride in about 2 and a half months. (since my back injury) It was so awesome to be back on my bike. Going back this weekend, the trail was awesome! It's got a few jumps that I can do once my back gets a little better. Another significant thing is that it started raining. This year has been the driest year ever on record for BC. Almost no rainfall all spring, summer and fall. Finally it began to pour and it kinda feels good.
My project this weekend is to finally stuff my hawk. I got all the supplies last night. We are also going to build a very cool table soon. I will post photos of the table when it is done.

Ugh! Too much chocolate!
I had a pretty dull Hallowe'en. Just stayed at home to hand out candy. I remember when I was a kid, how much time i would spend on my costume. My belief that a brilliantly conceived idea with stunning execution and a minimum of $20 expediture was sure to reap the maximum ammount of chocolate. I should have saved my time and bought a $20 dollar bag of chocolate bars.
I don't know if I am the only one who thinks this but adults just don't really care or notice what the kids are dressed like and half the time they are drunk anyway. (Not the kids....the adults. Although some of the kids last night might have been drunk. Hey there's a costume you don't see kids dressing up in these days, The Homeless Drunk. Although Zellers is selling "The Crack Whore" and "The Pimp Daddy" costumes. Sad thing is I am not kidding. Sadder thing is The Pimp Daddy costume was sold out weeks ago.) I just open the door, see bits of cheap plastic, cardboard and smears of greasy makeup and open bags. In fact I don't really take my eyes off the bags, just throw in the candy and slam the door shut. I think most people do pretty much the same thing.
I love those houses that go all out and create a spooky Hallowe'en house that is so scary it traumatizes the children, they run home crying and can't sleep with the lights off for years. That's what Hallowe'en's all about! We had one of those houses down the street, it was awesome. Anyway, I think I will head to beddie bies now. Later.